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Her loyalty and faithfulness to me should have made me value her more, but I was too self-absorbed. I think that my loss of self-confidence during my layoff, the surplus of time, and my idle mind set the conditions for the disaster that followed.After we re-located to a new city in order for me to start my next career, I was sent on an extended business trip out of town by my new company.After I had already fallen for her, but before we were engaged, I learned that prior to meeting me she had dated several Black Men while she was in college.

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The realization and reality of the wish for a Black Stud (or anyone else for that matter) to sex or breed your wife can be very harsh. We had both been faithful to each other since we met immediately after college.

We dated only a few months before becoming engaged, and we married about a year later.

Still, despite this, my wife never complained and stayed with me.

She did this even though I know she very badly wanted to have a family.

I felt inadequate and started to believe that my wife was secretly thinking of her former Black Lovers during our increasingly less frequent sex sessions.

A factor in why I may have begun to have these thoughts is that a few years after we married, we discovered that I am medically unable to have children.

For reasons still unknown to me, I started thinking about her having that Black child.

I began to sulk about us, after all these years, not having any children of our own.

Specifically, I sought out Black Men and began to ask them if they would be interesting in sexing or breeding my wife.

I received responses from most of the Black Men I wrote to.

Maybe it was because I had a lot of time on my hands since I was between jobs.

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