replying to messages online dating - Dating a borderline personality

Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe.

To diagnose BPD, at least five of the following symptoms must be enduring and present in a variety of areas: The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors.

Unlike bipolar disorder, their moods shift quickly and aren’t a departure from their normal self. Their emotions, behavior, and unstable relationships, including work history, reflect a fragile, shame-based self-image.

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People who have a first-degree relative with BPD are five times more likely to develop BPD themselves.

Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions. Unlike narcissists, who often avoid therapy, borderlines usually welcome it; however, before recent treatment innovations, its effectiveness had been questioned.

Use of medication and DBT, CBT, schema therapy and some other modalities have proven helpful.

Most individuals with BPD have another co-occurring diagnosis, such as addiction or depression.

Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases, on the border between reality and psychosis.

Your illness distorts your perceptions, causing antagonistic behavior and making the world a perilous place.

It is not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them.

They react to their profound fears of abandonment with needy and clingy behavior or anger and fury that reflect their own skewed reality and self-image.

The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless and caretaking top dog. A codependent who also yearns for love and fears abandonment can become the perfect caretaker for someone with BPD (whom they sense won’t leave).

In fact, both are codependent and it’s hard for either of them to leave. The codependent is easily seduced and carried away by romance and the person with BPD’s extreme openness and vulnerability.

The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice.

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