Internet dating scary unnerving

" and I'd probably be less of a millennial disappointment than I am right now. I am not a super special online dating virgin snowflake anymore. I'm a grown ass adult with a Wi Fi connection and and I have to act like one. Upon waking, I immediately rolled over to check my e-mail, where upon I discovered so many messages from strangers that my whole body seized with panic. STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET KNEW WHAT CITY I LIVED IN AND THAT I LIKED GRILLED CHEESE AND SPIDER-MAN AND TAYLOR SWIFT. Something I have pondered in the hours since I recklessly deactivated my account: I have no problem sharing things about myself with the internet.

More » As darkness fell, the honeymooners came upon a female hitchhiker in a tattered white dress. The inmates had been promised their freedom if they could stay awake for 30 days straight. More » Five young girls stood before the bathroom mirror in the dim glow of candlelight, chanting together: "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary." The thirteenth time they said it something very odd and very frightening happened. She woke up a short while later and noticed a stinging sensation on her cheek.

At first, she attributed the irritated patch of skin to sunburn, then it began to swell and grew into an unsightly boil. More » A teenage boy drives his date to a dark and deserted lovers' lane for a make-out session.

So obviously I'm there to meet humans, when all of a sudden one messages me and I remember something pretty crucial: I hate humans. But on most nights, I'm liable to blow off even my best friends to watch 30 Rock reruns and eat my way through the quarter pound of sliced Jarlsberg I order from the deli every week.

And now these total strangers want me to chat them back? But I know better than to put up my foxiest pic on a dating app, because A).

And to someone as paranoid as me, it's the emotional equivalent of swinging the apartment door wide open and yelling, "HERE I AM, SERIAL KILLERS!

"I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to almost everyone on staff at Bustle for mass texting my entry into the online dating world as if I were announcing my debutante ball. I have to do things, and then immediately seek the approval of other millennials for it to feel valid.

Embracing these fears by sharing them in a group is a way of confronting and coping with what we're afraid of. I can't watch TV with that thing in the room." Their reaction freaked her out even more.

So, on some dark night, maybe around a campfire, during a sleepover, or just a quiet evening with friends, try telling one of these tales of terror... An adolescent babysitter caring for two small children phoned their parents late in the evening to ask for permission to cover up the life-size clown statue in the corner of the family room. More » A teenage couple is parked late at night on lovers' lane.

Don't get me wrong guys, it's not that I don't believe in online dating. Meanwhile, I will be hiding in the far reaches of the internet, so paranoid of online dating that I'm leaning into dying alone and considering becoming a cat.

It's just that I'm pretty sure everyone I don't personally know is a murderer who either wants to sell my kidneys to a wealthy crime lord with two weeks left to live or collect my tears in a jar for witchcraft. (Not just buying one—I passed that freeway exit on loneliness a long ass time ago.)Look, we're all told we're supposed to embrace singledom and live in the moment and blah, and I'm all about that. Like most millennials, I'm a wee bit obsessed with myself.

Do they even know how many texts I have ignored in my inbox right now?!? I don't think those photos do justice to my dorktastic personality, and B).

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