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Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating.

Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.

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Presumably men prefer a more confident approach from a woman online, and ladies the opposite, but we certainly don’t suggest going overboard.

A little awkwardness might work, but too much and you’ll seem more Mr Bean than Ryan Gosling.

Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch.

Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order.

The words (if you can call them that) are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.

Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence (or maybe just good grammar) is an attractive trait in both sexes.Ideally, though, you’ll have some sort of common interests and once you’ve picked up on that then a conversation, or better still, a date could be just around the corner.Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one.As I discuss in my free online dating guide, successful online dating relies in part on making great first impressions.Whether the first impression is in the photos you select for your profile, how you describe yourself, or the first email you write, taking time to make the best first impression is important.For this discussion refers to your first message in online dating.

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