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But what happens when the person we are bonded to is the one who is mistreating us? With “Narcissistic Trauma Bonding,” you are initially showered with intense love and approval. Then gradually the ratio of positive to negative events shifts—often so subtly that you cannot say exactly when this happened.You find yourself in fights with someone you desperately love who claims that everything bad that is happening is all your fault.
I had a good job, lots of friends, and I was happy most of the time. I can’t concentrate on my work and I feel as if I am going crazy.
I know that I am in a really destructive relationship with a Narcissist who abuses me, but somehow, I can’t manage to leave once and for all.
Not only does it shed more light on the couple's interaction, but it prevents "he said, she said," or "she said, you said" situations, says Kaslow.
At this point, however, mental health professionals know considerably more about treating PDs in individuals (see page 46) than in couples, notes Links.
Most often, Kaslow and Solomon see attractions between people diagnosed with Cluster B (antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic) and Cluster C (avoidant, dependent and obsessive-compulsive) personality disorders.
Kaslow offers a theory on the attraction between Clusters B and C: "Someone in Cluster B or C will more likely seek a polar opposite they see as exhibiting qualities they lack and assume this will make them feel more complete or whole," she explains.
"We need to bring research on personality disorders and concepts of personality functioning together with research on couples therapy," he says.
I used to be a really confident and mentally healthy person.
It's challenging enough to achieve such rebalancing when one person is personality-disordered and the other is relatively healthy.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating